


Though The Truth May Vary

by missingnolovefic



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mystery, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Secret Relationship, Spy Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 02:39:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7296181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missingnolovefic/pseuds/missingnolovefic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Fury gets pranked. Paranoia dictates he find out by whom.</p><p>Meanwhile, his wife gains new protegées. Entirely a coincidence, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Though The Truth May Vary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BagFullofCats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BagFullofCats/gifts).



> [snowtumble](http://snowytumble.tumblr.com) wanted a fic inspired by [this](http://snowytumble.tumblr.com/post/146028299096/pirates).
> 
> Full prompt: "Does Tony poke Steve with comments about it being easier than finding a capsicle in the arctic? Do they prank Nick Fury with season passes? Does Bucky become fascinated with leather?" (I kinda zoomed in on the prank part. Whoops.)
> 
> Disclaimer: I haven't watched a single episode of AoS. Characterizations are loosely based on what I've seen in fanfiction.

Fury stared at the paper on his desk. It was an ornate piece of furniture, the dark mahogany smooth and intimidating. The desk took up most of his office, the surface clear except for a fake potted plant, his name sign and a wooden box no bigger than his hand.

It was his official office, where he greeted visitors. He never did any _real_ work in here. It was a threat, a subtle intimidation, the _Director’s Office_.

The surface of the desk was supposed to be empty.

Instead, two innocuous slips of thick paper lay there when he entered the office in preparation for a meeting. Carefully, he pinched one between pointer and middle finger and flipped it over.

Nothing happened.

Fury frowned, leaning closer to inspect the script. A ticket, he concluded, frown deepening. He turned the other slip over, correctly guessing it to be another ticket to the same event.

Fury froze, expression blanking out.

There was a post-it stuck to the other ticket.

He pressed the intercom and barked out, “Get me AD Hill, asap.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabbed the potted plant, pulling a dark green chip from between the leaves. He turned it around carefully, snatching a miniature screwdriver from the pocket of his iconic leather coat. He pried the chip open, not bigger than the nail of his thumb, then peered at the circuity.

Fried, as he thought.

He dipped his fingers into the fake plant again, groping around the slightly wet earth. He pulled back and stared at his fingertips, rubbing them together thoughtfully. He sniffed, a faint whiff of coffee hitting his nose.

That’s how Hill found him not a minute later, with dirty fingers and a broken bug, glaring at two tickets on his desk.

“Hill,” Fury greeted her briskly, gesturing at the slips of paper. “We have a problem.”

 

* * *

 

Tony stared at him incredulously.

“Wait,” he said, putting up his hand. “Wait, let me get this straight.”

He lifted a small plastic bag from the table and held it up for everyone to see. Inside were two slips of paper, tickets to an exhibit. Another evidence bag laid on the table in front of him, holding a pink post-it with curly script on it.

“You need us to go undercover to figure out who send you season passes to the [ Whydah Pirate Museum ](http://www.discoverpirates.com/),” Tony stated slowly, disbelief dripping from every syllable.

“Not you,” Coulson replied irritatedly, arching one eyebrow while pointedly tilting his head in Natasha’s direction. “Her.”

“Because someone send your pirate boss pirate tickets,” Tony repeated, snorting. A big grin was stretching over his face. “I can’t decide if that’s ballsy or hilarious. No, wait, I know. It’s both, definitely both.”

Coulson rubbed his temples and sighed exasperatedly. “Because someone uncovered private information about the director of an elite spy agency, which means we have a leak or a hacker who can pass by unnoticed. Which,” he added dryly, shooting Tony a pointed look, “even you can’t manage for more than a couple minutes.”

“I would hope not, after I souped up your firewalls,” Tony drawled, leaning back in his chair. At his side, Cap pulled the post-it note closer and read it, his brow furrowing.

“This seems a rather innocent message,” he said slowly, watching Coulson from the corner of his eyes suspiciously, as if he was waiting for a trap to spring.

“It would appear so, yes,” Coulson answered, seemingly unruffled. “However, it specifically mentions Director Fury’s wife.”

“Hold on, he’s married? Like actually, walked down the altar and bought the ring kind of married?” Tony spluttered, grabbing his tablet and starting to type wildly. “There’s a marriage certificate and I haven’t found it yet?”

“With good reason,” Coulson admonished him with a slight frown, but let it pass. “That information is heavily restricted. That anyone has access to that kind of highly guarded secrets is… troublesome. We need to find out who it was and what they know.”

“And you need Natasha for that,” Steve clarified with a frown. He crossed his arms. “Natasha?”

She gave him a one-shouldered shrug. “I already know who Mrs Fury is. I assume keeping her identity secret is top priority at this point?”

She turned to Coulson inquisitively, and he nodded.

“As far as we are aware of, only AD Hill, Director Fury, Agent Romanov and I have knowledge of her identity.” He tapped the evidence bag with the tickets. “Which makes this either a coincidence or an unknown.”

“Who says one of you wasn’t pranking Fury?” Tony asked amusedly, glancing up from his tablet.

“Does any of them strike you like a natural prankster?” Clint asked drolly, giving Stark a look from where he sat crosslegged on the fridge.

“Natasha,” Steve and Tony pointed out simultaneously. The red-head held up her hands in surrender.

“Which is why I was chosen to find the culprit, I’m sure,” she explained dryly and got an amused look from Coulson. “If it was me, I’d either confess at this point or find a scapegoat. Since it wasn’t-” She shrugged eloquently.

Coulson slid her several files.

“You’ll have to restrict yourself to my team for support on this mission, Agent Romanov,” he stated. She flipped through the files before nodding. “They’ll keep it on the down low, but are to remain unaware of the reason behind the objective.”

“Catch an intruder who’s gotten their hands on sensitive information above their clearance level, got it.” natasha’s lips quirked up into a half-smile. “Not my first rodeo, Phil.”

“I suppose not,” Coulson conceded, straightening his tie and pushing back his chair. “I’ll leave this in your capable hands, then.”

 

* * *

 

“What have you found?” Natasha asked as she swept into the science lab. Fitz jumped, giving her a wild look, but Simmons piped up from the other corner of the lab, waving the pink post-it note with gloved fingers.

“Definitely computer ink,” she said, pushing the paper under the microscope and beckoning the agent closer. Natasha obliged with heavy amusement. “The script carefully imitates a handwritten note, but it’s actually too even - see here?”

She pushed the microscope over to Natasha, and the agent leaned over indulgently and gave the zoomed in part of the note a curious once-over. Then she straightened up and looked at Simmons patiently.

“The edges are too even, so it must be printed out,” Simmons went on excitedly, whirling around to grab a lab report. “So I ran some tests on the ink, and they all come back conclusively. Whoever sent this did a fine job disguising it as handwriting, when it’s actually not!”

Simmons grinned brightly at the agent, and Natasha let her lips slip up into a half-smile in return.

“Well done,” she praised, taking the lab result and bagging the post-it note. “I’ll take this to Skye, then. If you have anything else for me-”

Simmons was nodding eagerly, rocking on her toes. “Contact the Assistant Director, don’t tell anyone else, don’t ask questions, I know the drill.”

This time, Natasha gave her a full-fledged grin, blinding white teeth on full display. “Good. Keep up the good work. Simmons, Fitz.”

 

* * *

 

Skye, on the other hand, was a lot less helpful.

“I can track down the app, and maybe the originator of the handwriting, but it’s gonna be hard to find everyone who might have used it, especially if it’s publicly available.” She gave the note a doubtful glance. “These kind of programs are a dime a dozen on the net, and even if there’s no close matches other than the original, it’s still gonna be a massive data-mining and analysis project to sort all the users.”

“Let me worry about that,” Natasha assured her, frowning at her desktop. “Get me a list of everyone who ever used that program, sorted chronologically, and I will go through them to appraise their threat level and relevance to the case.”

Skye nodded thoughtfully, chewing on her lower lip. “I can add country of origin and known criminal records, if that would help,” she offered.

Natasha nodded sharply. “Do that. Contact Hill with your findings if you can’t get a hold of me yourself.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Skye saluted her sloppily, already hunched over her computer system by the time Natasha reached the door.

 

* * *

 

Darcy leaned against Skye’s desk, heads huddled together as they talked. She clutched her coffee mug for warmth, and most SHIELD agents ignored them after a glance. Two young girls in over their heads, gossiping in the middle of work.

They seemed harmless.

The Contessa snorted, lifting her frappucino to her lips to hide her amusement. At her side, Agent Romanov twitched.

“What are you thinking?” she asked in a low voice, casually leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She affected a bored air easily, but her eyes were sharp as they skimmed the room.

“They seem promising,” Val replied carefully, taking a sip of her coffee. “With the right training, the right mentors… Yes, I can see it.”

Natasha shot her a look, lips quirking upwards.

“Shall we confront them, then?”

“Let’s.”

They moved as one across the floor, hovering behind the oblivious girls.

“Ladies,” Val rumbled, watching bemusedly as the two jumped. “I think you owe us an explanation.”

Darcy and Skye whirled around, eyes darting from Agent Romanov to the Contessa, before going wide and round.

“Oh,” Darcy breathed, eyes flickering to the exits. “Mrs F- I mean-”

Val chuckled. “Please. You may call me Contessa, or Agent Fontaine. For now.”

“Agent de Fontaine,” Skye began, tripping over her own words in her haste. “It’s not what it looks like-”

“Oh?” Val arched an amused brow, and besides her Natasha chuckled. “To me it would seem that the two of you somehow managed collect sensitive data without being noticed. Furthermore, you realized the confidential nature and implemented an operation based on said operation. Am I right so far?”

The girls nodded mutely.

“Well done, by the way,” Natasha added, giving the startled girls a sharp smile.

“We’re not here to punish you,” Val continued blithely. “Rather, we have an opportunity for you.”

Darcy and Skye exchanged wary glances. “So we get our hands on restricted information and in turn we won’t even get a slap on the wrist?” Darcy asked suspiciously.

“Have you patched up the hole in security?” Val questioned impatiently.

“Of course!” Skye protested.

“And have you or have you not implemented counter-measures for a future breach?”

“Mhmm,” Darcy hummed agreeably, a smirk stealing over her lips. “Some nasty surprises in there, too.”

“Then I see no reason to have you punished. It would be a waste of your skills,” Val concluded.

“This is a spy agency,” Natasha explained, buffing her nails against her uniform. “You’re expected to play the game. The question is, are you ready to dance?”

Skye looked at Darcy, and the other girl gave her a firm nod.

“Alright,” she said, turning back to the older agents. “What exactly are you proposing?”

**Author's Note:**

> More than the promised 1.5k and totally worth it :D It's been a while since I dabbled in the Marvel universe, this was fun! I hope you enjoyed it, too.


End file.
